What Are You Doing?

You probably don't know his name, but Jack Dorsey came up with what might be the most important invention of the 21st century -- Twitter. It must be important, because the Library of Congress is going to house every "tweet" that's ever been twittered. So here's a memo to those who work at the Library: Move that copy of the Declaration of Independence out of the way, put that first edition of de Tocqueville's "Democracy in America" somewhere in the back, and find some other place for the contents of Abraham Lincoln's pockets on the night of his assassination. Make room for messages like, "I should really wash my hair."

In case you don't know, Twitter is an online "social network" in which people say just about anything they want as long as it's 140 characters or less. You can reach millions of people instantly. It's as if you were shouting out your window. Really loudly. Every message is called a "tweet." Some 55 million tweets are posted every day. That makes billions of them so far. Approximately 75,000 tweets have been sent since you started reading this column. I guess they're going to have to install a few new shelves in the Library to make room for all those tweets.

The Twitter folks suggest that those using Twitter answer the question, "What are you doing?" So the vast majority of tweets are similar to the ego-thoughts that appear on Facebook and MySpace. You find things like, "My head itches," "I don't know what to make for dinner," or "I look really good in green." These are the kind of statements that will be shelved next to rare copies of the Bible, notes from the House UnAmerican Activities Committee, and that 130-year-old edition of Whitman's "Leaves of Grass."

Maybe I'm not being fair. In addition to daily drivel, there

have been some news scoops on Twitter. That's one of the interesting things about it. If you happen to see a tsunami coming your way, all you have to do to let the rest of the world know about it is to type something like, "Whoa, big wave coming. Looks like a tsunami. Get to safety, but first warn everyone you know about it." Of course, I don't know if sitting and typing while a tsunami is heading your way is the wisest course of action.

Another example of the site being used for an important purpose occurred when President Obama announced that Joe Biden would be his running mate simultaneously using e-mail, text messages, and Twitter. Presumably, the next time the United States decides to go to war, we will announce our intentions on Twitter: "We warned you, you didn't listen, so here we come." On the other hand, just think of all the lives that would have been saved if Twitter had been available in the past. When a warring country was ready to quit, instead of calling for a peace conference and waiting for it to convene while the war raged on, heads of state could have just written, "Surrender. Enough already."

One drawback of Twitter when it is used for newsworthy events is the 140 character limit. This could cause problems like this: "Have just discovered a cure for the flu virus. I haven't told anybody else what the secret is. It was really very simple. All I did was syn" Then what happens if the person typing that important message has a heart attack before he's able to finish his thought, start up another tweet, and pass on his secret to anybody else? If he had just told the researcher who sits across from him instead of tweeting...

If you have the same first reaction that I did, you're probably thinking that the trivial stuff that's usually on Twitter has no business in the Library of Congress. However, after thinking about it some more, I feel it's perfect for the Library to tackle the tremendous task of tagging all the tweets that have been twittered every since twitterers started talking in tweets. Yes, most tweets are trivial. However, this kind of personal trivia is precisely what millions of people are involved in every day. So it will certainly give future generations an idea of how people spent their time in the beginning of the 21st Century. Don't you think it's important for those future earthlings to understand why people in our time cared whether a stranger was just about to shave? I'd certainly like to know.

Too Much Information

The good news about living in the Information Age is that just about everybody can express what is on his or her mind. In other eras, only writers wrote. Not today. Anybody can self-publish a book, send an email to someone thousands of miles away, or write a blog about whatever she or he wants. It's a wonderful thing that so many people can tell others anything they want about themselves. But why do they feel they have to tell everything about themselves?

When people first started buying cell phones, they did so primarily because they found these devices could be helpful in an emergency. Then they discovered that cell phones could help them keep in touch with work or home. So far, not so bad. But next, people became so addicted to talking and texting on cell phones that now many people feel they have to use them every few seconds. I was in a theater a few days ago, watching a children's dance recital when the guy behind me refused to stop texting and checking for messages once the show began. An usher soon told him that using a cell phone during the performance was not allowed. So, did the guy stop using it and watch the show? Nope. He left the auditorium so he could continue to use his cell phone rather than watch his kid dance.

Like the cell phone, the Internet seemed harmless enough when we first started using it. We could look up interesting facts, and we could tell our family and friends important things any time of the day. But then things started to get out of hand. My theory is that this deterioration began when people discovered that they could use e-mail to instantly send unfunny jokes to as many people as they desired.

Next came the personal blog, yet another mixed blessing. Good writers could tell about their daily lives in fascinating and creative ways. Of course, not so good writers could tell about their daily lives in totally boring ways.

Social networking sites followed. These are things like Facebook, MySpace, and whatever new one has become popular since I started typing this. The interesting thing about these sites is that you no longer are restricted to e-mailing your friends about your life. Now you can write to complete strangers and tell them whatever you want. And what are these strangers called on these sites? "Friends."

Twitter has fine-tuned the phenomenon of e-mailing people about one's own life. On Twitter, your "tweets" are limited to 140 typed characters. But don't worry. You can send as many of these short messages as you want.

We've all heard stories about lurid photographs and messages on these sites, but is most of the communication sexy or outrageous? No, it's dull, duller than you can imagine if you haven't been on the receiving end of this stuff.

Here is a sampling of the kind of things that those on Facebook and Twitter send out to other people:

"I'm getting thirsty."

"I'm thinking of trying a new toothpaste."

"I don't want to catch a cold."

"I just finished packing for tomorrow's trip."

"I really like the color blue."

I'm not kidding. These are the kind of messages that people spend hours and hours sending and receiving. (Well, I did change the color to "blue" to protect the identity of the sender).

Are people supposed to respond? If someone sends a message that says, "I'm really tired," does he expect people to write back advising whether he should go to sleep or not? Some people send running updates of their day: "On my way to work now" is followed by "Almost at work now" and "At work now." Am I supposed to respond, "Congratulations!"?

I don't think so. I have the feeling that people who send up-to-the-minute updates of their daily life don't care if we respond or not. My hunch is that the pleasure they derive is just from writing about changing their fish's water or finding a paper clip in the street.

That would make them just interested in pure self-expression, not the reaction of others. On the other hand, maybe they are interested in others' reactions, and those of us who haven't responded are letting them down. I'm sure I could devote much more time to thinking about this. But not now. I'm going to take a shower.