The Secret To Happiness

I was in a bookstore the other day, and you know what? It's getting harder and harder – especially in a big chain bookstore -- to find a book. I mean a real book. Literature. Or and least something that you can't read while you're also watching TV. The reason you can't find the kind of book you're looking for is that all the self-help books about how to be happy fill up the shelves. Ironically, this makes some of us quite unhappy.

Some of these popular happy books include, "Climb your Stairway to Heaven: The 9 Habits of Maximum Happiness" and "Mary Lou Retton's Gateways To Happiness: 7 Ways To A More Prosperous, More Satisfying Life." The Dalai Lama's book, "The Art Of Happiness: A Handbook For Living" is on the shelves, and so are "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience" and "The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting The Life You Want." One thing is certain: if you're going to write a successful book about happiness, you need a colon in the title.

I don't want to call us "whiners," because I know that even advisers to presidential candidates can get in trouble using that term. But we are certainly seekers. Yet, it turns out that research has shown that seeking happiness is one of the least likely ways to find happiness. Of course, now they'll try to sell us books about how we don't need a book to achieve happiness.

I'm not denying the importance of happiness. On the contrary, happiness is one of my favorite things, along with magazines that don't smell like perfume and a nap when nobody's home. I'm just not sure we need so many books about it.

What is the real secret to happiness? What do the gurus of our era – scientists – have to say about being happy? The latest scientific research on happiness indicates that about 50% of one's propensity to be happy is genetically determined. So if you're happy, stop being mad at your parents. And if you're not happy, stop blaming them for more than 50% of your unhappiness.

The other 50% of your possible happiness comes from circumstances and from the way you act. Not surprisingly, the old standbys of doing things for others and being grateful for what we have are at the top of the list of things that bring us happiness. Exercise, meditation, and laughter are helpful, too – and they don't mean laughing at other people you think aren't as happy as you are.

With all of the complaining we do about not being happy, with all of the lack of gratitude that seems to permeate our society, with all the money we shell out in the hope of buying happiness, we must be the unhappiest group of people in the history of the world, right? Wrong.

The University of Michigan's Ronald Inglehart's recent paper published in "Perspectives on Psychological Science" refers to surveys taken over the past seventeen years by the World Values Society. These surveys measured happiness in 88 countries covering 90% of the world's population. Overall, happiness has increased 6.8%. Maybe 6.8% doesn't sound like a lot, but that includes places that have had wars, floods, and reality shows.

How is this possible? If we're happier than ever, why do we have such a need for "get happy books?" Why do so many people claim to be so unhappy if the statistics say that happiness is on the upswing?

Well, I have a theory. We all know that exercise can lead to better mental health and happiness. But recent research indicates that it's not just the physical act of exercise that improves our brain. Doing a repetitive activity like running or walking can help the health of our brain.

And what's the most common repetitive activity that we do: complaining about not being happy. So it's quite possible that our chronic dissatisfaction, our habitual lack of gratitude, and our constant fruitless search for an easy road to happiness all might be contributing to our actual happiness.

Those of you reading this, please don't write books about my theory. The stores are already running out of space. However, you have to admit it's interesting that these days, the credo of many people who are really happy is a variation of the old "I think, therefore I am." Maybe today it's, "I complain, therefore I am."

Que Sarah, Sarah

Que Sarah, Sarah, Whatever she'll be, she'll be.

At the beginning of the Republican convention week, a poll revealed that 41% of Americans surveyed said they weren't familiar with Sarah Palin. That means that 57% of those surveyed weren't telling the truth.

Now we all know that Sarah Palin, the Governor of Alaska, is John McCain's choice for his running mate as the vice presidential nominee. Not that McCain asked me, but there are some things about this pick that bother me.

Some Republicans are saying that with this choice, women who are disappointed that Barack Obama didn't pick Hillary Clinton as his running mate now have a woman to support and vote for. This seems so sexist, so condescending, that it's beyond belief. Do they actually think that many women will vote for a woman just because she's a woman, even if they disagree with her beliefs and positions? That's crazy. Nobody's saying that men will vote for McCain or Obama just because McCain or Obama is a man.

And then there's this other thing. They're saying that she's not a "regular politician." Instead, "she's just like you and me." "Just like you and me?" Are you kidding? When they were trying to contact her father to tell him that she was going to get the nomination, he was busy caribou hunting and gold mining. I have to tell you, nobody in my family ever spent time caribou hunting and gold mining. If McCain had decided to choose me instead of Sarah Palin, it's possible that my mother would have been busy when they tried to call her, too. But she would've been busy doing something like reading -- not panning for gold or pointing her rifle at an animal.

By the way, what's Sarah Palin's favorite food? Moose stew. "Just like you and me?"

Sarah's father isn't the only one in the family who is a hunter. Sarah likes to shoot animals, too. Rumor has it that she's a much better shot than the current vice president. Then again, Ray Charles was probably a better shot than Vice President Cheney.

Evangelical Christians and other Republicans on the right are embracing Governor Palin's religious and social views. She believes that "abstinence only" should be taught in school, not sex education. She believes that creationism should be taught alongside that other doctrine that's only been accepted by the scientific community around the world for 149 years -- evolution.

There is something I've never understood about "creationists." If they believe so strongly that God has created all the creatures in the world, why do they think that it's okay to shoot some of those creatures with a gun?And then they think it's a nice touch to decorate their homes with the heads and skins of the animals they've killed?

So in Sarah Palin we have somebody who doesn't think sex education should be taught in school, who doesn't believe in evolution, and whose favorite dish is moose stew. "Just like you and me?" I don't think so.

But don't write her off. One of the most amazing things that I've ever seen is that the Republicans are turning all of her negatives into positives. Since they can't call her selection a strange choice, they're calling it a bold one. Instead of apologizing for her shortcomings, they celebrate them. Her inexperience is supposedly an advantage because she's not a "traditional politician." Her family problems are a positive because they show that she has the same kind of problems as everybody else -- except she has to worry about overcooking the moose stew.

And at the convention, she offered up her own blend of political stew. It had equal parts of "Aw, shucks" and venom.

Don't sell her short. She might be different from you and me – she was the 1984 runner up in the Miss Alaska contest, and I wasn't -- but just because she is different, doesn't mean you should dismiss her. I don't think jokes about her being another Spiro Agnew or Dan Quayle are going to fly. As I recall, those two guys were on the tickets that won.