Misunderstood Blagojevich

Isn't it possible, that Illinois Governor, Rod Blagojevich, is just misunderstood? I'm not a lawyer, but I've seen lawyers played on TV. And I've been thinking about Blagojevich ever since the FBI arrested him. Like many of you, I've been wondering what his defense can possibly be since the Feds taped so many damaging words of his. By the time you read this, he may have resigned or have been impeached. However, as of this writing, he has not been found guilty of anything. So, isn't it just possible that the man is completely innocent? Okay, I know that's a stretch. Regardless, I decided to put myself in the wing-tipped shoes of a criminal lawyer making hundreds of dollars an hour to try to get this man off the hook. If I were his lawyer, this is probably the kind of thing I'd say:

Citizens of Illinois, ladies and gentlemen of the press (or of the jury, depending), I represent Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. I maintain that not only is his name often mispronounced, but it has also been cruelly sullied. Rod Blagojevich is not the money-hungry, vulgar, crooked, arrogant, stupid man that you may think he is. Wait, I left out "disgraceful." Anyway, this is a man who has suffered his whole life. As a child, other kids made fun of his name. As an adult, people have made fun of his hair. And yet, he was able to rise to one of the highest offices in this land that he loves so much. That's got to be worth something, doesn't it? Uh, you know what I mean.

Let's talk about the charge that people find the most shocking: the alleged attempt to sell the Senate seat formerly belonging to President-elect Barack Obama. This is perhaps the biggest example of there being a misunderstanding. When Rod Blagojevich said that he was interested in "selling Obama's Senate seat," he literally meant "Obama's Senate seat" -- the chair that Obama sat in while in the Senate. He did not mean that he was selling someone the lofty position of Senator; he was talking about furniture.

Now, this was probably a mistake, a mistake that he is quite sorry for. He shouldn't have been trying to sell a Senator's chair anymore than I should've tried to sell that Supreme Court Justice's couch a few years ago. I wasn't thinking straight then, and neither was Rod.

Mr. Blagojevich has done his best to be a proper Governor for the people of Illinois. He is an old-fashioned guy who believes in tradition, and he was trying to follow that tradition. If he is guilty of anything, it is of trying too hard. Historically, four of the last eight elected Governors of Illinois have been charged with a crime. Since 1971, approximately 1000 Illinois public servants have been convicted of corruption, and in Chicago 30 Aldermen have gone to jail. Should he be demonized for just trying to follow in the footsteps of the public servants who came before him?

The "Corporate Crime Reporter" recently crunched some Department of Justice statistics to see which state was the most corrupt in the nation. Louisiana was Number One, followed by Mississippi, Kentucky, Alabama, Ohio, and finally Illinois. That's right. Illinois was only sixth. To someone who always wanted Illinois to be Number One in everything, can you imagine how the Governor felt when he read these statistics?

He decided he'd do his best to bring Illinois up to being at least in the top three. Who knows? Because of Rod Blagojevich, he may have pushed Illinois past Louisiana!

You decide. Should someone be severely punished for trying to sell an old chair while he was attempting to make Abraham Lincoln's state Number One?

I don't think so. I rest my case."

That's what I would say if I were his lawyer. And who knows? Maybe that's the kind of thing that'll get him off. Crazier things have happened in court.

America's Pastime: Politics or Baseball?

I need a rest from this Presidential race. Like many people, I'm too obsessed with it. And now that it's down to just days before the election it's getting worse. More and more news stories are about anything that has to do with the campaign. Maybe you're like me and need a little break from all this. A diversion. Fortunately, that diversion is being offered to us in the form of baseball's World Series.

It's great timing. Right when I think it's possible that people could be turned off by the long campaign, along comes America's Pastime to take our minds off politics. Without some other interest, I'm worried that some people are going to O.D. on politics and be completely turned off. I fear they might even stay home and not bother to vote. So if you feel you're too obsessed with the campaign, maybe you should join me in trying to get as immersed as possible in the Series. I figure I should be able to wean myself off politics at least a little bit in these last days of the campaign.

It's not going to be easy. I have to summon interest in a Series between the Philadelphia Phillies and a team called, the Tampa Bay Rays. Yes, once again, my beloved Chicago Cubs blew it and won't be winning the World Series for the 100th year in a row. The Rays are the Cinderella team that went from "worst to first," finishing in last place last year and winning the American League Pennant this year. Until this season, they were called the "Devil Rays" and their record was awful. As soon as they dropped the word "Devil," they did great. Hey, maybe those on the Religious Right would say, oh, no. No way. I'm not going to bring politics into this. It's baseball. Pure and simple.

Because I grew up on Chicago's North Side – home of the Cubs -- I generally root for the National League team. To me, the American League always represented the enemy White Sox or the always-winning Yankees. The Yankees were the team in pinstripes with the Big Money salaries, so they always seemed somewhat Republican and Oops! Sorry about that. No politics.

Anyway, I like the Rays' storybook history, but since the Phillies are in the National League, they will probably get my vote. Wait! I didn't mean to say, "vote." I meant to say that I'd probably root for them. I've got to stop being obsessed with politics. Sorry.

Even the candidates can just enjoy baseball without injecting politics into it. Or at least that's what I thought until John McCain accused Barack Obama of "flip-flopping" on the World Series. He said about Obama, "When he's campaigning in Philadelphia, he roots for the Phillies, and when he's campaigning in Tampa Bay, he shows love to the Rays."

They've traded insults for months, and the campaign has gotten pretty nasty. But to accuse someone of "baseball rooting malfeasance?" Now, that's serious. And which team is John McCain rooting for? Here's what he said, "I'm not dumb enough to get mixed up in a World Series between swing states." He refuses to answer because he's afraid of alienating Florida or Pennsylvania. And he admits it!

That probably means that Obama will accuse McCain of not having the courage to take a stance. Then McCain will proclaim that he's been a baseball fan all his life. Then Obama will say, "Of course McCain's been a baseball fan... just like George W. Bush." And on and on and on.

So, maybe it's impossible to get away from the campaign by turning to the World Series, but I'm going to try. First I have to look up and find out what network it's on. Let's see ...it's on Fox. Fox? As in "Fox News?" Does that mean the commentators are going to call the National Leaguers who allow everyone an equal chance at bat "socialists?" Are they going to call some home runs out if they are "too far to the left?" And will the Democrats cry out every time someone "steals" a base, that it reminds them of the 2000 election? Oh, man. I can't get this stuff out of my head. When will this election be over?